Drama Mama

So recently there was some drama hooha regarding a fosterer and HDR, aka Cotton’s “alma mater”, and after retelling the story to my mum, I was strongly urged by her (and of course I wanted to) to defend HDR’s mission. If you wish to know what exactly conjured between the two groups, I suggest you read it on your own on their fb page and form your own views towards to matter. This post is regarding the issue, but more so about the Singaporean mob mentality and “keyboard warriors”.

To start of, I posted this as a comment, asking all to keep an open mind and to remind them that HDR is a welfare organisation by the people, for the animals. One of the reasons why I decided to speak up (I hardly use Facebook to post anything about myself, other than photos) was because out of the 10 over comments then, all were criticising HDR and I didn’t think it was fair to them when objectively, it’s easy to see what actually happened. I personally feel that it was a relatively neutral comment explaining my own experience with HDR:

Hi all, we adopted Cotton from HOPE last Nov, and she is now an inseparable part of our family. As I have said in my story regarding Cotton’s adoption that you can find on Hope’s blog, the entire process was smooth and spanned across the entire month of Nov last year. During said period, HDR too mentioned to us that if another potential adopter came forth saying she would like to adopt Cotton, they would assess who is more suited for Cotton even if we applied first – because all they want is the best for their dogs. Throughout her home stay/foster-to-adopt period, HOPE’s volunteers visited our house to teach us how to cook, bathe and walk Cotton, in addition to fetching Cotton from her fosterer’s place at Woodlands to ours at Serangoon twice. And also, potential adopters for dogs such as Scout don’t come easily, hence should the process have been changed from fostering to adopting, I’m sure he would have gotten Scout at the end of the day, regardless of the comments said by HOPE (which they probably said to all potential adopters). Perhaps now that we know both sides of the story, we shouldn’t be that quick to judge and consider the perspective from both parties. After all, HDR’s one and only objective is to provide the best for their dogs and strays. And for those claiming HDR is one of the few dog rescues who aren’t clear with where all donations go, and thus implying they are misappropriating funds – perhaps just consider this: Cotton with her seizures, vet visits and medication easily cost them $1000+, her spaying and hospitalisation to ensure no complications $400+, and we were only asked of $350 for her adoption.

(Please ignore my “cook… Cotton” statement :D)

But of course, like everything, people chose to take some words of mine out of context to rebut with points that… Didn’t even make sense.

First this person replies:

If HOPE try to take away my adopted dog, I will also kick a BIG fuss. I dont know about U but when I foster my dog, LOVE develop.. I dont give up on love easily..Its very heartpain to see the video. Have U seen the video.. Scott simply refuse to leave… There indeed bonding there.. when I show the video to my 70 years old mom today, she hugged my dog and cried and said if you are Scott, we will fight u to the end! As for Cotton’s case.. its different.. its difficultt to get someone to be at home 24/7 & so when Jamie come along.. it sort of answer HOPE’s prayer… Yes, Cotton’s medical cost can be $1000+ but everyone who had adopted knows that the adoption range from $200-$350. Rescuer will bear the bill. Only when U official adopted the dog ( e.g Cotton), You will tend bear the cost of the bill coz Cotton belong to Jamie lor. Moreover, Cotton’s overall cost were bear by the donations gotten.mmm… but dont it feel weird that no invoice shown for any medical bill for any dogs or list of donors and HOPE is PTE LTD ( meaning there is Profit & Loss a/c kind ) I thot HOPE suppose to be under charity organization? mmm..

I honestly had a lot of trouble reading through this block of words cause of all the grammatical mistakes and lack of trying on this commenter’s part to form complete coherent sentences.
And forgive my crudeness and quoting NEJ, “your grandma cried?? I cry for you grammar”

1) She doesn’t even know what she’s talking about cause the dog wasn’t even adopted, he was being fostered – hence exemplifying my point of mob mentality – just siding with the popular view, repeating other’s view, and for lack of better words, not using your brain

2) She obviously didn’t read the two sides properly. HDR already explained that the dog does this refusal to walk thing even on a normal day. I understand this because Cotton too does this on a normal day, not because she doesn’t want to leave the house, but she just simply doesn’t want to leave at that point of time (ie your mum/dad/whatever forcing you to shower and you just don’t want to at that point of time, but not because you are scared of water).

And, you can’t simply discount one side’s account and it’s a little fishy that this fosterer failed to mention this little fact right?

Then I got this reply from another person who didn’t read my other comment (illustrating my point further). Btw because she simply couldn’t handle the awesomeness in the form of me, she had to mention me not once, not twice, but thrice just to reiterate her single point.

First reply:

For Cotton’s case, I would like to just mention that vet bills should not be used as a gauge of adoption fees charged as many times dog rescue groups/ shelters have arrangements with vets for stray/ heavily discounted rates and with donations from the public (which can be quite a huge amount depending on severity of the case), it would have been absurd to charge a higher adoption fee than $350. How many of us ever cared for a traumatized dog that needs constant wound care and was given 24/7 human companionship? Veterinary care staff would know the efforts Jon had gone through to care for Scout for his wounds to heal this quick. If such a dedicated fosterer cannot be good enough to adopt Scout, then of coz there would be ‘better’ families who could now adopt a 90% healed Scout. In any case, actions speak louder than words. If the dogs’ welfare are your priority, prove it. Scout already decided so let’s see your actions??

Second reply:

Jamie Tan: If your whole comment was directed at me then all I can say is that I am not implying anything but sometimes things are not as simple as it seems on the surface. Why are many not money/ profit-oriented organizations under scrutiny these days? Do you have access to their full set of accounts to know what are far fetched accusations and what is the truth? I surely do not have any access so how can you be so sure? Yes, hdr has policies but what IF it is really true that fosterer already told right from the start he wants to adopt n hdr reverted no adoption fees then turn around to say look for better owners later on? Do you n I know for sure, 100%? What I do know is that animals have high intelligence n they can decide for themselves if given a chance so what is wrong with letting Scout decide for himself what is best for him? 🙂

Btw just a minor detail but I actually addressed my reply as “Jane Lee:…” So I’m quite unsure why she thinks that the comment wasn’t directed to her. Quoting the person above “mmmmm….”

Third reply:

The veterinary team were there right from the start with Jon and Scout. They know what was being said to Jon. Otherwise, they would not have raised concerns in the first place about promising to let Jon adopt in Scout’s worst state then go back on their words and now label him as ONLY a fosterer? There is a difference between having someone come up wanting to adopt versus going out in search for better homes when hdr already promised to let Jon adopt Scout. I can perfectly understand guidelines n rules in place for the benefit of our animal friends but what I can’t fathom is that how can hdr say yes in allowing to adopt one day then go back on their words later on, assuming that Jon can’t afford Scout based on whatever reasons (4rm hdb?). Yes, please do not judge if you do not know the full story or 100% sure. Btw, Jamie Tan, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I don’t know how mature are you to even disrespect this and mention some posts are wasting everyone’s time? Maybe you were told that before otherwise you wouldn’t be saying this to others n I feel for you. Like I said previously, there may be things that you are unaware of happening behind the scenes so unless you are 100% positive that your views are correct, please leave some respect for others and not label them as “immature, wasting time comments, far-fetched/ baseless n illogical accusations” when you don’t even have access to the profit n loss accounts of hdr. Just know that you were a God sent angel for not just Cotton but also hdr due to the medical attention that Cotton requires. You and Cotton are blessed with a beautiful ending so please allow others to have this chance too. Thank you.

All I said was:

Jane lee: The example of Cotton’s adoption fee was raised to illustrate how HOPE Dog Rescue is not money/profit-oriented. The accusation of funds misappropriation is extremely far-fetched, baseless and illogical. That aside, the heart of the issue is not that Jon was deemed unworthy, but that HOPE rightfully has a policy that if another person comes forward with the request to adopt Scout, they would also be assessed and the most suitable person will adopt Scout, for his welfare. HOPE had every right to state this, without expecting mature adults to get irrationally butthurt and spiteful. No one said that Jon was inferior. It is that simple. Trying to stir trouble and fan hatred instead of working about (or encouraging for, in case of the many bystanders) an amicable and mutually satisfying agreement with regards to Scout’s arrangements is frankly very immature and wasting everyone’s time.

1) Lifting words from my comment to intentionally misunderstand my words is extremely immature and doesn’t make your (invalid) points any more stronger
I.e so unless you are 100% positive that your views are correct, please leave some respect for others and not label them as “immature, wasting time comments, far-fetched/ baseless n illogical accusations” when you don’t even have access to the profit n loss accounts of hdr

What I said was “accusation of funds misappropriation is extremely far-fetched, baseless and illogical” and “Trying to stir trouble and fan hatred instead of working about (or encouraging for, in case of the many bystanders) an amicable and mutually satisfying agreement with regards to Scout’s arrangements is frankly very immature and wasting everyone’s time.”

And exactly because I don’t have their records, isn’t such an assumption baseless? *facepalms till my face turns into a pancake*

And far fetched/baseless don’t even have negative connotations associated?? It is exactly what it means? Such talent. Wow.

2) Personal attacks are so “mature”
I.e Btw, Jamie Tan, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I don’t know how mature are you to even disrespect this and mention some posts are wasting everyone’s time? Maybe you were told that before otherwise you wouldn’t be saying this to others n I feel for you

What I said was:
Trying to stir trouble and fan hatred instead of working about (or encouraging for, in case of the many bystanders) an amicable and mutually satisfying agreement with regards to Scout’s arrangements is frankly very immature and wasting everyone’s time.

And I’m pretty sure she went to my Facebook, realised I’m 18, and decided “oh I’m older, IM MORE MATURED WOOHOO” okay, sure..

Plus, “everyone is entitled to their opinions” – Am I not under “everyone”?? Unless of course she thinks I’m too spectacular so I don’t fall in the general consensus of “everyone”.

3) Forming assumptions to make your nonexistent point stronger
I.e but what IF it is really true that fosterer already told right from the start he wants to adopt n hdr reverted no adoption fees then turn around to say look for better owners later on?

4) Sprouting rubbish and nonsensical bullshit when you know neither head or tail
I.e Otherwise, they would not have raised concerns in the first place about promising to let Jon adopt in Scout’s worst state then go back on their words and now label him as ONLY a fosterer?

Right from the start, he was a fosterer. He himself said he changed his mind along the way after bonding with Scout, and hence told HDR that he would like to adopt Scout. Please, keep your gaping hole shut if you don’t know anything. And you clearly don’t know what goes behind the scenes of adoption/fostering process, so just stuhfoo.

Even Ah Boy who is so sick and old, has an adoption fee. The dogs that HDR rescue are all dogs with a bad past, and they ALL have adoption fees, even those physically impaired like SiDa and Harper. It’s the most senseless opinion that Scout doesn’t have an adoption fee =.= and speaking of HDR’s dogs, it’s scary how just one irresponsible, spiteful (childish) man can result in so many people forgetting what HDR has done for so many dogs – the weekly night feedings, severely malnourished Elmo and Prince, poor Talia, strong willed Harper, hit-and-run victim Sida, attacked Scout, Champ and Amber, seizure ridden Cotton, neglected Ah Boy, literally crushed Duchess, just to name a few.

I didn’t even bother replying the latter cause it would just be feeding the troll (literally). Singaporeans, please stop being so childish, form your own objective judgements and not let emotions sway you in everything. There are two sides to everything and blindly believing just one side is extremely unfair and uncalled for. Case in point: NLB, Pinkdot, Stomp, TRS. (Tidbit: did you know there’s a subreddit on Reddit called “cringapore”? That’s how disgusting you people have made Singapore out to be).

Out of the 3 people defending HDR, 2 were foreigners and 1 me. (I’m not being narcissistic) Of course there were also a handful of people giving balanced views, which I appreciate.

Lastly, there was this “Hannah Teo” person who created her account 5 minutes before asking me this – maybe it’s Jon, maybe it’s some person who is ashamed of helping someone who isn’t right.

Hi jamie, but they didnt come to take Cotton away from you? Why the double standard? Thats the thing that don’t gel. Plus the fact that fosterer has already express his love for Scout, so why isnt Hope giving Scout back?

1) I didn’t ask HOPE to take Cotton away, and when HOPE said the exact same words to us, our only thought then was to prove to them that we were the “better family”, and not get so offended over a simple statement.

2) What double standard is there? Do you not know what double standard means? What’s there not to get?

3) Scout belongs to HOPE and his rescuer. It’s not so simple as “return the dog”. Using your logic, if I offer boarding for you dog, bond with him, and now love him, can you give it to me?

Regarding the issue itself, what I feel is:
1) Why did the fosterer have his camera out when saying goodbye to the dog he so claims he loves? And he knew said dog would do this. Call me a cynic, but I don’t believe in such “coincidences”.
2) Why make a big issue and later claim you want to solve it between HDR and yourself?
3) Why chase the dog you so love out of your house (the night itself) when you so love him so much? And didn’t even include this in your first pity party comment. You are an animal lover as your colleagues so claim, so why do this to any creature? Your feelings were hurt, you were offended and Scout took the brunt of it all.
4) Don’t know about others, but I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable creating such negativities about the dog welfare organisation that saved my dog. Talk about ungrateful much. Scout is loved by your family, and there are so many other potential Scouts out there waiting to be saved, so how would discrediting a welfare organisation for animals benefit anyone?
5) Stirring trouble to make HDR change their view that you caused – sounds like a spoilt brat throwing a tantrum in a store to force his parents to buy a toy for him

What I think transgressed was:
– Fosterer expresses interest in adopting Scout
– HDR agrees, but explains policy that should a better family for Scout come along, both would give equal opportunity (they said same thing to us and I’m sure HDR knows fosterer is best for Scout)
– Fosterer and family feel insulted and offended that they aren’t given Scout immediately, decides to make HOPE take Scout immediately to find his “better family” (they asked HOPE to take Scout immediately that night, even knowing he will have no where to go – so much love shown here)
– HOPE removes Scout, fosterer knows Scout will refuse to walk, takes video
– Upon HOPE’s plea for new fosterer or adopter, fosterer posts video and sob story, in an attempt to discredit HDR and force them to return Scout
– Major drama, in the end HDR has no choice but to return Scout

Bear in mind that Scout being returned to HDR poses more trouble for HDR to find a new family for him than leaving him with his foster family and changing the process to adoption.

Btw, this is what fosterer himself said:
1) “I do not want to force hope into giving Scout back to us. I want to reason and let them understand and would allow him to return to us… But by forcing them we are no different being any similar to them

Pretty sure creating a big fuss is forcing HDR to return Scout to you. Please don’t act the victim or the martyr.

2) “Many thanks to everybody who helped and supported. Scout “Scott” will be returning back to us tomorrow and we will be adopting him ❤ ❤ <3…It is unfortunate to say that this whole incident was caused by a major miscommunication and misconception. We have agreed to settle things amicably and hope to minimise the damage towards both parties… As for the video, I would like to clarify that my intentions of asking HDR to come collect Scout “Scott” was to let them see for themselves if he wanted to leave the home or not, thus they had to carry him instead. HDR did not forcefully drag him away.”

I will leave you to form your own opinions toward this bunch of bullshit 😀 but just one thing – “misconception” is fosterer’s synonym for “I was offended by some words and decided to act like a child” 😉 and the last sentence doesn’t even make sense. Shouldn’t it be along the lines of “my intention was to create a big fuss”. Plus, please explain why you asked HDR to take Scout away that night (because you are childish and spiteful).

Perhaps I myself am wrong, perhaps I’m siding with the wrong party, but then again nobody knows what exactly transpired so you take your side, and I take mine. I believe an organisation recognised by ministers, AVA, vets, and for the benefit of animals will not be as horrible as what the accusations say. And I have personally seen how much love was shone on just one dog: Cotton. When Cotton was discovered to have a cyst in her left ovary, Fiona came down immediately to talk to Dr Goh. She could have simply asked the volunteer with us then, Annie, to explain the situation over the phone I her. Without hesitation she agreed to whatever procedure was needed for Cotton. She even asked for one day hospitalisation for Cotton to ensure she would be in the nurses’ care in the event of a seizure.

I’m forever indebted to them for giving our family Cotton. I doubt that it would be the same if we had purchased a pup from a pet store/breeder.

There are so many instances of HDR’s fosterers becoming adopters – Amber the Great Dane lookalike, Ah Boy’s current fosterers, Dutch, and many more. So please don’t leave comments of “isn’t fosterer best to be adoptor?”, etc etc.

Thanks.

Jamie

Update: Scout has been returned to the foster family as an adopted dog, as too much damage to HDR has been done by this person. I may be overly sensitive/being judgemental but said fosterer/adopter posted a video with Scout walking back to his flat, unleashed (if HDR was truly as horrid as what people make them out to be, this is a valid reason to remove Scout, as an adopter, and in the adopter’s agreement form, you are never to allow dog to walk unleashed other than dog cafes, parks, etc) – obviously to discount HDR’s words again, so spiteful, immature, ungrateful and childish. Oh well, dogs bring out the best in people, so hopefully Scout can bring out the best (or at least the mature adult) in jo(h)n.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Drama Mama

  1. Anonymous Fan of This Fantastic Blog says:

    Hey Jamie, wonderful post with tight, coherent and logical arguments, yet an entertaining read at the same time! I am very inclined to take the side you have chosen as well in this issue and regarding online behavior. Truly well-written, thanks for taking the time and effort to pen such a quality article and share your views! Keep up the great work and send my love to cute Cotton! Love your blog xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s